


It's you and you alone

by hyuniebun



Series: soonhoon oneshots based on years&years songs [2]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: (aka they say "fuck"), (just one and it's minor), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Magic, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Magic, Mild Language, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 21:20:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14723795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyuniebun/pseuds/hyuniebun
Summary: Jihoon has loved magic for as long as he remembers. It's his first love.





	It's you and you alone

**Author's Note:**

> loosely based on gold by years&years (tbh the original plan for this was a lot darker, staying closer to the lyrics, but then again i still don’t know how i even came up with this au after listening to the song upps^^ so i just ended up with way more fluff than i meant to, but i suck at angst and confrontation and live for fluff, so...i’m sorry??)

Jihoon still remembers the first time his mother told him about magic, hushed voice, both of them hidden under his blanket, music blaring through the speakers. “Just to be safe,” she said, before telling him of dancing lights and flowers soaring towards the sky. Before he knew it, he fell in love. The older he grew, the more his mother revealed to him, the beauty of a slight breeze making people fly, but also the terror of a sudden storm, taking houses with it. She didn’t hide the darkness, the power to destroy and take, neither did she pretend that there wasn’t incredible good in magic.

Schools, news, media, they all only ever talked about the horrors humans went through at the hands of magic. Even though it’s been centuries since the war on magic, since the last wielder of magic was killed, education kept revolving around the evils, indoctrinating everyone to believe magic could only mean the end of humanity, making sure they would be ready in case of a new generation of magic. Jihoon knows to be careful with his adoration for magic, but he just can’t help himself, the thought of magic makes him giddy. It’s his first love after all.

His boyfriend would sometimes jokingly tell him that he loves magic more than him, but Jihoon never bothers to respond. He knows Soonyoung understands, even though he’s never taken a stance on his opinion towards magic, he always listens to Jihoon ramble, goes to museums with him and lets him rant about the biased information provided. He even got him a bunch of old books about magic, Jihoon still doesn’t know where or how he got them, sure they’ve been prohibited years ago, but he treasures them with his life. And yes, definitely a little more because they’re from Soonyoung.

 

*****************

 

_The first time Jihoon meets Soonyoung, he is enamoured. They’re both barely fifteen and he sees the other boy inside his favourite record store, dancing to the song being played as if there’s nobody around to see him, which was true up until Jihoon caught sight of him. He hasn’t heard the song before, but it feels weirdly familiar._

_(For their one year anniversary he plays the song for Soonyoung on his old guitar, forever slightly out of tune no matter how many times he brings it to a store to get it fixed.)_

_Jihoon can’t help himself but watch the boy dance his heart out, he remembers one song turning into two, into three and four and five, until the boy basically collapses, laughing so bright despite his heavy breathing. Jihoon wants to go to him and make sure he’s okay, but the boy is suddenly looking at him, still laughing, and gets back up, motioning for Jihoon to join him. To this day Jihoon still doesn’t know what made him actually go to the other boy and start dancing with him, but he’ll be forever grateful to whatever took over him back then._

_It’s like magic. That’s the only way he can describe it. After dancing separately to a couple of songs, a slow ballad comes on and the boy gestures to him to come closer. Jihoon does without thinking much about, one hand holding the boy’s and the other one on his shoulder, every nerve in his body feeling electrified. The world starts to transform around him, colours brightening and harsh edges fading away. He knows it must be just a trick of his mind, but all Jihoon can think about is that this is what magic must feel like, that it’s the closest he ever got to it._

 

*****************

 

Until this day, every time he dances with Soonyoung it gives him the same exact sensation, the world becoming so much clearer and at the same blurring around him because nothing could ever make his attention stray away from Soonyoung when he’s holding him, swaying to the music, even if sometimes it’s just a song inside their heads. Jihoon secretly loves those moments the most, when nobody but them knows the beat, the rhythm they’re moving to.

Some nights when he’s lying awake on their bed inside their apartment, Soonyoung sleeping peacefully next to him, he thinks about how the other man is his own personal piece of magic and while he manages to whisper it into the night, he has yet to bring himself to say it out loud to his boyfriend.

Jihoon turns on the television just in time for the news, just in time to hear the reporter talk about magic sightings in a small village close to where Jihoon lives. He tunes out the fear-mongering words from the news presenters, already on his phone looking up how long it’ll take him to get there. “Is it road trip time again?” Jihoon looks up from his phone to see Soonyoung leaning against the doorframe, smile on his face and glint in his eyes. If Jihoon didn’t already love him with his entire heart, he’d be sure he just fell in love with his boyfriend even more.

They quickly pack two bags and get in their car, it’s old, still has handles you need to turn to let the windows down, but it was their first big investment as a couple, as well as an excuse to finally move in together. It has broken down a couple of times and the amount of money that has gone into fixing it every time could’ve surely gotten them a newer car, but neither of them have been willing to part from it. The memories of driving down roads, chasing the setting sun, listening to the radio, when it was still working, and then cassettes after it stopped working, freezing in winter because the heater doesn’t work, has never worked, and barely surviving the sweltering heat of summer. It’s silly to think the memories will be lost if they get rid of the car, but Jihoon isn’t ready to give up on making more memories in it just yet.

Soonyoung designates himself as driver and Jihoon is thankful because he’s too jittery to even think about driving, excitement thrumming through his entire body. He might finally witness real magic. They make a quick stop at a convenience store to get some food, even though the village is only a two-hour drive away, the sun is already setting and they’d rather not take any chances. “Put on some music. It’s your pick!” Soonyoung says, eyes not leaving the road, and Jihoon doesn’t need to be told twice, hands automatically going for the mixtape Soonyoung made for him a couple of months after they met.

 

*****************

 

_Jihoon doesn’t know why he’s so nervous, he saw Soonyoung just yesterday, but when the other sent him directions to some place with only a time accompanying the message, he couldn’t calm his heart down. Ever since he met Soonyoung at that record store, he hasn’t gone a day without talking to him, if they couldn’t meet up, they would talk for hours on the phone until one of them fell asleep and even then, Jihoon would more often than not wake up to Soonyoung still on the other end, the sound of his steady breathing making getting up much, much easier for Jihoon._

_Soonyoung asked him to come shortly before midnight and Jihoon is getting panicked when the directions on his phone lead him into the forest, but a quick text to Soonyoung confirms he’s going the right way. Standing in front of the forest makes him feel a little eerie, but as soon as he steps inside, between the trees, he almost feels comforted. It doesn’t take him long to reach the destination and when he looks up from the glaring light of his phone, expecting to be met by darkness until his eyes manage to adjust, the sight in front of him leaves him breathless._

_There’s a small waterfall, running into a lake, and there are fireflies everywhere, but what really manages to steal his breath is Soonyoung. He’s sitting on a picnic blanket by the lake, candles placed all around him. Jihoon once more thinks the other boy must be magical, when he looks towards Jihoon’s direction, seeing him, and a brilliant smile spreads across his face, outshining both the fireflies and candles alike. He quickly makes his way to him, sitting down on the empty space next to Soonyoung. “What is all this, Soonyoung?” Jihoon’s voice is barely above a whisper, too afraid his voice might disrupt this perfect atmosphere. He can feel Soonyoung’s hand shifting closer to his, intertwining their pinkies. “Do you like it?” He, too, keeps his voice quiet and Jihoon turns to look at him, wiggling his pinky free to properly hold the other’s hand. “It’s beautiful, Soonyoung. How...how did you find this place?” Soonyoung shrugs, biting down on the pleased smile spreading across his face and squeezes Jihoon’s hand once._

_They spend hours talking and watching the fireflies. When a slight breeze picks up, blowing out the candles, Soonyoung makes Jihoon lie down with him and puts a blanket over them. “You can see the stars like this.” Soonyoung is looking at him, pointing at the sky above them, but Jihoon decides he’s already looking at the stars, right there in Soonyoung’s eyes. Only when the other boy turns his head to actually look at the sky, does Jihoon follow and he finds himself gasping. The town they live in is relatively small and Jihoon always thought he had a nice view of the stars when sitting on the roof of his house, but it was nothing compared to the seemingly endless amount of bright lights he could see here while lying on the forest floor._

_Soonyoung insists on walking Jihoon home and he doesn’t see any reason to decline, wanting to prolong the pleasant time he spent with the other boy, stretching the moment as long as possible. They stop before entering Jihoon’s street, Soonyoung fiddling with something in his pocket, uncharacteristically quiet. He nudges the other boy, asking him what’s wrong, and after a moment of continuing to avoid Jihoon’s eyes, Soonyoung finally looks at him. “I like you, Jihoon.” His voice sounds steady, but Jihoon can tell how nervous he is about his confession and it makes his heart skip pleasantly in his chest because he isn’t alone with his feelings. Even though there was little doubt about it in his mind, the fact that Soonyoung never said anything still made him unsure if he was reading the other’s actions wrongly. “I like you, too.” It’s so simple. Jihoon never thought he’d meet somebody who would make it this easy to fall in love, make him feel this safe._

_(He might call magic his first love and while it’s true, he thinks he doesn’t mind Soonyoung sharing that first love title.)_

_Just like that, they continue their way to Jihoon’s house, intertwined fingers swinging between them. When they reach his house, neither of them makes a move to separate and he thinks about inviting Soonyoung to stay, but somehow the thought of parting and going to bed, heart pumping and thinking about Soonyoung instead of sleeping, sounds like something he wants to experience as well._

_Soonyoung lets go of his hand and for a moment he’s disappointed, but then the other boy hands him a cassette tape. “I was going to give this to you as my confession, but it felt wrong not saying the words myself. Still, I made it for you, so I want you to have it.” Jihoon clutches the cassette tightly in his hand to ground himself, he supposes he should get used to Soonyoung making his heart go into overdrive sooner rather than later. He wants to kiss the boy in front of him so badly, the question is already on his lips, but they have all the time in the world now. Plus Jihoon thinks he might actually pass out if they kiss now. Soonyoung seems to sense his hesitation, pulling him into a tight hug instead, face nuzzling his hair, before pulling away and placing a gentle kiss on his forehead._

_Jihoon can still feel Soonyoung’s lips when he’s lying in bed, cassette player next to him, ready to listen to the mixtape the other made for him. When he opens the cassette, a folded piece of paper falls out. It’s the tracklist, only instead of the song titles and artists, Soonyoung wrote down the moment they listened to the song together for the first time. Jihoon reads over the list a couple of times, he knows exactly what each song is going to be, can’t believe Soonyoung remembers so many details. Only the last track is a mystery to him since it only says_ Confession by Kwon Soonyoung to Lee Jihoon _._

_With hands shaking in anticipation, he puts the cassette into the player and forwards to the final track. At first there’s just a static crackle, but then the sound of somebody clearing their throat breaks through and Jihoon immediately holds his breath, Soonyoung recorded something for him. “Hi, Jihoon.” Soonyoung’s voice is gentle, the usual happy lilt to his words still present nonetheless. “There’s something you need to know, even though I doubt you haven’t noticed it by now, but um...here it is.” The sound of a heartbeat follows Soonyoung’s words, at first steady, then suddenly quickening, losing its rhythm. Slowly, it fades away and for a moment Jihoon thinks that’s it, ready to rewind and listen again, but Soonyoung speaks up again. “This is probably really weird, but that was the sound of my heartbeat and...um...how it changes when I’m with you.”_

_The cassette ends and Jihoon stares at the ceiling for a few moments, before bursting into overjoyed giggles. He reaches for his phone and calls Soonyoung who picks up on the second ring and Jihoon starts talking without giving him a chance to say a single word. “You’re unbelievable, Kwon Soonyoung! That...that was probably the cheesiest way anyone ever tried to confess!” He’s almost screaming into his phone, bursting with laughter and Soonyoung joins in. “Wanna know the funniest part?” Jihoon manages to get out in between laughs and Soonyoung replies with a breathless “yes”. “At first I thought it was my own heartbeat.”_

_Soonyoung’s laughter stops abruptly, but Jihoon doesn’t feel that the sudden silence is bad, he isn’t embarrassed by his words. It’s the truth after all and the knowledge that Soonyoung’s heart beats for him the same way his own does for the other just makes him too happy. Ever since he met Soonyoung, he’s been feeling so much more at peace, even without the other reciprocating his feelings, he’s just been so happy to have found a person he could be completely and unabashedly himself around. Somebody who doesn’t judge him for his love for magic, but listens to him ramble about it for hours, even chiming in with a few of his own stories about magic now and then._

_(A couple days later, Jihoon tries to go back to the waterfall, but despite following the directions the same way he did back then, he can’t seem to find it. When he sheepishly tells Soonyoung about it, fully expecting to be teased, the other freezes for a moment, before telling him to take him along next time since it’s their spot. Jihoon kisses him for that, thinking that yes, it is their spot, so maybe he wasn’t supposed to be there on his own. The next time he has Soonyoung holding his hand and guiding the way. It’s almost ridiculous how easily they reach the waterfall and Jihoon decides he must’ve been seriously out of it if he couldn’t find it before.)_

 

*****************

 

They sing along to the songs with all their might, laughing when their voices crack, and when Jihoon looks at his boyfriend, the faint oranges and purples of the setting sun giving him a gentle glow, Jihoon finds himself overcome with how much he loves Soonyoung. “I love you.” He thinks his words a probably too quiet for the other to hear, drowned out by the music, but Soonyoung stops singing and glances at him for a split second before looking back at the road. “I love you, too!” He shouts right when the song ends, making both of them burst into happy giggles. Soonyoung holds his hand in between shifting gears and Jihoon couldn’t feel more complete.

By the time they reach the village, it’s too late for them to feel comfortable enough to go look if there’s a place for them to stay at. Soonyoung parks the car near a small field of grass and after a quick search on his phone, Jihoon gives him the okay to set up their tent. They’ve done this enough times to know not to just set it up anywhere, angry land owners and police officers waking them up in the night to tell them to get lost. Jihoon continues looking at his phone, checking the secret magic-enthusiast forums to see if there’s any updates on the magic sighting. He knows he should wait until morning to look around the village, but now that they’re here he can’t think of anything but the possibility he might finally get to see magic, meet a person with magic.

“You want to start looking around, don’t you?” Soonyoung sits back down on the driver’s seat, amused smile on his face that only brightens when Jihoon nods sheepishly in response. “Okay, give me a second. I need to pack up the tent up again.” Jihoon quickly gets out of the car to help him. The process takes much longer than it would’ve if Soonyoung did it alone because Jihoon is basically vibrating with excitement and keeps doing things the wrong way or blocking Soonyoung. When it’s finally done, Soonyoung locks up their car and takes Jihoon’s hand. “Lead the way!” And he does.

Jihoon doesn’t know how long they’ve been walking around the village, he’s sure they’ve been to some places more than once already, but this time feels different. If he gives up now, he’ll regret it and Soonyoung lets him continue, the way he always does, following Jihoon, telling him a funny story now and then when he can sense he’s getting frustrated and Jihoon always makes a mental note to make sure to tell him how much it means to him, to let Soonyoung take him to the dance competitions he knows his boyfriend is so fond of to reciprocate the favour. When Jihoon suggests going up the mountain to continue, Soonyoung seems hesitant for the first time that day. “It’s too dark, Jihoon. What if something happens?”

The uncertain look on Soonyoung’s face almost makes Jihoon agree, go back to their car and set up the tent again, try again after they had some sleep, he knows Soonyoung won’t protest if Jihoon wants to get up as soon as the light returns, but he also knows it might be too late then. The fact that they already saw two broadcasting vans in the village only makes him more certain that this might be a real incident, that whatever caused the strange, short-lived storm really was magic, because usually the reporters come later. Jihoon simply can’t let this slip through his fingers, he’s wanted to see magic for as long as he can remember, it’s too big a dream to let go. “Please, Soonyoung?” When Soonyoung doesn’t immediately give in, Jihoon steps closer, going on his tiptoes to press a soft kiss against his lips. “I know you never say no, but please! Just once more!” It seems to do the trick and Soonyoung grips his hand more tightly, before turning on the flashlight of his phone.

Jihoon makes sure to stay close to Soonyoung, doesn’t think his boyfriend will let him get away even if he tried, but Jihoon doesn’t mind, appreciates it actually. He would be lying if the path up to the mountain top wasn’t creeping him out a little. Before they reach the top, a second path appears, not really a path but more a trail of crushed leaves leading somewhere else and Jihoon knows this is the way they have to go. Soonyoung seems to know what he’s thinking and heaves a heavy sigh, before stepping in front of Jihoon and slowly leading them to follow the crushed leaves. All Jihoon can see is his boyfriend’s broad back and he bites back a smile at how safe the other makes him feel, when he suddenly walks face first into said boyfriend’s broad back. He’s about to say something, but he can hear voices and immediately leans to the side to be able to see what is in front of them. Soonyoung turned off the flashlight, so Jihoon is barely able to make anything out, but then he sees it.

Two people playing ball. With fire. Before he can stop himself, a small gasp leaves his mouth and suddenly the ball of fire is hurtling into their direction. Jihoon can’t move, can’t even close his eyes. He’s probably going to die, but he just saw magic. It’s real. It’s still among them. Jihoon’s eyes are wide open and he’s still waiting for the impact, almost curious to see what the fire will feel like, if it’s somehow different. The impact never comes. Instead Soonyoung’s arm shoots up, catching the ball of fire and closing his hand around it, making it disappear. If Jihoon was frozen in excitement before, now his unmoving state is definitely due to the complete shock at what just happened. There are so many emotions swimming through him, but he can’t grab onto any of them, suddenly feeling cold, unable to breathe.

Soonyoung is talking to him, talking to them, Jihoon can’t hear any of it, ears filled with nothing but the sound of his heart beating too fast. It’s only when Soonyoung pulls him closer, starting to walk, that Jihoon’s forced back into motion, thankful his body can control his feet without him having to tell them to move. They sit down in the place the two people were playing throw earlier, one of them starting a bonfire with the flick of her wrist and it finally seems to shake Jihoon out of his shock, a little of his earlier excitement bubbling back up in his chest. He takes his time looking at the two people, two girls, younger than him he’s pretty sure, studying them. They look completely normal, just like normal teenagers, which of course they do, why wouldn’t they? Soonyoung looks normal after all. Right, Soonyoung. Jihoon’s head snaps to his side to look at his boyfriend who is saying something with a smile on his face that Jihoon can tell is restrained, not like the usual smile he has while talking to people. Soonyoung’s eyes find Jihoon’s and he stops talking abruptly, there are so many emotions on his face and he finds himself reaching out to hold one of Soonyoung’s hands.

Jihoon is angry, there are so many things he has to say to his boyfriend, but right now, right now he’s going to indulge in his dream. He turns back to face the two girls and actually starts listening to the conversation. “Oh, you’re back! Sorry about almost killing you. We can’t take any chances, you know?” And Jihoon does, he understands. People are terrified of magic, they wouldn’t blink an eye while killing somebody with magic, he’s read all the cases of people killing a neighbour, a friend, a family member just because they suspected them of having magic. The circle of violence reinforces all the fears people have about magic. They talk for a long time and Jihoon even gets up the courage to ask them to show him something, anything they feel comfortable with. One of the girls immediately creates another ball of fire, letting it float above them. “Can I touch it?” The girl bursts out laughing at the same time Soonyoung’s hand tightens around his. “It’s fire! You’ll burn your fingers!” Before Jihoon can feel stupid, the other girl wiggles her fingers and a small burst of rain appears over the ball of fire, slowly extinguishing it. Jihoon stares in awe, he wonders what else they can do, if their powers are limited to nature or if there are other things, too.

“Your turn.” The girls gesture towards Soonyoung who shakes his head vehemently, the fear on his face when Jihoon looks at him, makes his heart ache a little. Has Soonyoung been this afraid of Jihoon finding out? But why? There are so many questions running through Jihoon’s mind, but he pushes them away to the same place his anger is currently occupying, for later when they’re alone. “Show me.” It’s just a whisper, but he knows Soonyoung can hear him and after a moment of just looking at him, his boyfriend nods. Jihoon holds his breath when Soonyoung closes his eyes, before opening them again and suddenly the bonfire is gone and there are butterflies all around them, only Jihoon has never seen anything like them, their wings glowing and illuminating everything around them. One of the butterflies lands on Jihoon’s arm and when it flies away, it leaves a faint glow on his skin, disappearing after a moment. He looks at Soonyoung who is watching him, fear back on his face, and he smiles at the other. The smile hurts his cheeks and before he knows he’s laughing, bright and happy. It all seems to make sense to him now.

They leave when the first light of the sun breaks through the darkness, Soonyoung warning the girls about the reporters and giving them the address of a safe place. The way he explains it to them makes Jihoon realise this isn’t the first time he met other people with magic and he wonders if he’s gotten close to magic on any of their other road trips, but Soonyoung somehow steered him away from actually seeing it, if the reason his boyfriend never complained and always came along was because he wanted to make sure other people like him were safe. The walk back to their car is quiet, there are more reporters now, more people and Jihoon almost wants to run back to the two girls to make sure they can escape safely, but when he looks at Soonyoung, he’s calm and collected and he realises he wouldn’t be of much help anyway, they have magic after all.

Once they reach their car, Soonyoung makes no move to unlock it, leaning against the driver’s door, staring at the sky, before suddenly turning to Jihoon who’s standing next to the passenger’s door opposite him, patiently waiting for him. “Do you hate me now?” Jihoon looks at him confusedly, but before he can respond, Soonyoung continues. “Not...not because of you know what. But...but because I didn’t tell you?” Jihoon wants to laugh at the “you know what”, but does his best to hold it back, walking around the car to join Soonyoung instead. “No, I’m still very much in love with you. Just confused and angry? Mostly...um...mostly hurt?” He’s close enough to Soonyoung that he has to tilt his head back a little, but Soonyoung looks so small, so scared, standing in front of him. “There’s a lot of shouting and probably a lot of tears coming your way, but right now I just want to go home and sleep.” Soonyoung nods, but doesn’t meet his eyes, turning around to unlock the car and Jihoon sighs, but walks back around the car to get in anyway.

Soonyoung has no business looking like a kicked puppy and making Jihoon’s anger disappear bit by bit, Jihoon has every right to be angry, hell, he even has every right to break up with Soonyoung right here, right now. As soon as the thought crosses his mind, he feels like crying, Soonyoung will have to do much more than this to get rid of Jihoon. It’s almost stupid how quickly Jihoon is understanding why Soonyoung didn’t say anything about his magic, driving past all the reporters, the spectators and even people holding up signs with slurs and hate towards people with magic makes him realise that no matter how much Jihoon loves magic, the world wants people like Soonyoung to disappear, to die. He instinctively reaches out, placing his hand on Soonyoung’s thigh as if it would stop anyone from taking him away. Not saying anything was his way of protecting himself, protecting Jihoon.

They’re already half an hour into their drive back home, when Jihoon decides sleeping on it will only make him lose his anger completely and he wants Soonyoung to explain himself, even though he probably knows it all already. “I changed my mind. Talk!” He doesn’t manage to put a lot of force behind the words, voice coming out much softer than he meant to, somehow it feels right this way. Soonyoung stops the car at the side of the road, he looks around for a second before lifting his finger and suddenly all Jihoon can hear is both of their breathing. His boyfriend closes his eyes, taking a deep breath, and then he looks at him. “Sorry, I just want to make sure nobody but us can hear this conversation.” Jihoon nods, heart skipping a little at the knowledge his boyfriend just used his magic, the combination of the two things he loves the most is really making him too weak. He had always dreamed to encounter somebody with magic, but that his own boyfriend, the man he loves with his whole heart, would be someone like that never once even crossed his mind.

“Everything I’m going to say will sound like excuses. And... _they are_ , that’s all they are, but...but I was _scared_ , Jihoon. I know it’s stupid because I’ve known about your love for magic almost as soon as we met. Still...” Soonyoung looks away for a moment, voice breaking a little. “At first I was scared you just loved the idea of magic existing, but once you’d know I have magic, all the horrible things everybody’s been telling you about magic your whole life would catch up with you.” Jihoon understands that fear, remembers an old friend of his who never spoke to him again after Jihoon revealed he was gay, even though said friend always shut down other people’s jokes about gay people. The betrayal and hurt he had felt back then was hard to forget. “When I realised you weren’t going to be like that, I got scared for a completely different reason. I was a danger to you. No, I _am_ a danger to you. I always will be.”

Soonyoung’s head drops against the steering wheel and Jihoon can hear the small sniffles escaping his throat clearly, probably due to the spell. He’s about to say something, but Soonyoung continues, voice strained. “But I was already so in love with you, Jihoon. I convinced myself that as long as you didn’t know nothing would happen. It’s my responsibility to make sure the world never discovers me.” Soonyoung is crying now and Jihoon gently places his hand on his head, massaging his scalp the way he knows always calms his boyfriend down. This time it has the opposite effect and Soonyoung breaks into full-on sobbing, so Jihoon pulls him into a hug. The angle is all awkward, gearstick digging into Jihoon’s stomach, but he barely notices it, Soonyoung’s sobs and the endless repetition of “I’m sorry” and “I love you” spilling from his boyfriend’s lips are all he can focus on, heart squeezing painfully.

Jihoon knows if this was anybody else he might hold a grudge for longer, but it’s Soonyoung, Soonyoung who was always there for him, Soonyoung who never once made him feel like who he is was wrong, Soonyoung who was never scared to show his feelings to him, Soonyoung who has been a constant of happiness in his life for years. And after all he is Jihoon, Jihoon who thought he’d never find somebody who would accept his love for magic, Jihoon who showed every part of himself to Soonyoung, Jihoon who never spent a day feeling unloved ever since he met Soonyoung, Jihoon who was always complete, but with Soonyoung life is just that extra bit more special.

It takes Soonyoung a while to calm down, but when he does, eyes puffy, nose running and tear streaks on his cheeks, he continues and Jihoon almost wants to stop him because it’s okay, they’re okay! “When I met you, when we danced together, it was the first time since my parents died that I lost control of my magic. I don’t know why, but it always reacts to you so intensely, as if it wants to reach out to you.” There’s a small smile on Soonyoung’s face and Jihoon can’t help but copy it, the words making his heart skip a couple of beats. He cups the other’s face in his hands, wiping away the remaining tears, before pressing a soft kiss against his lips. Jihoon leans away, but Soonyoung follows him, keeping the light touch of their lips intact and Jihoon starts smiling into the kiss, he feels ridiculous.

He isn’t sure how long they stay like that, lips now languidly moving against each other, but he wouldn’t mind keeping this moment alive forever. Eventually, Soonyoung breaks away, taking a deep breath and Jihoon follows him, these gentle kind of kisses always leave him breathless in a strange way, overcome by all the love. He looks at Soonyoung, catching his eyes and just starts laughing. “I love you so much!” He breathes out the words in between bursts of laughter. “ _Fuck_ , Soonyoung. I love you so much!” There are tears spilling over now, tears he didn’t even realise he was holding back until now, but he can’t stop them and why should he, they’re happy tears after all. Soonyoung’s face suddenly becomes panicked, pulling Jihoon into a hug, arms so tight around him as if he was scared Jihoon was going to disappear. The cycle of “I’m sorry” and “I love you” starts up again and Jihoon wishes he could stop crying long enough to tell him it’s okay, he understands.

When he finally manages to calm down, Soonyoung slowly lets go off him, hands remaining on his shoulders, looking at him with an expression that makes his heart twist uncomfortably in his chest. “I know that I broke your trust and I understand if you want me to leave, but Jihoon...” Soonyoung’s voice sounds so small, so completely unlike him and yet so raw and real it pierces Jihoon’s heart. “Please... _please_ , tell me I can fix this. Tell me you’ll let me fight for you. _For us_.” Jihoon’s eyes hurt from crying, but it doesn’t stop another round of tears spilling over at his boyfriend’s words. He punches Soonyoung’s chest, lightly at first, but there are so many emotions inside of him that he doesn’t know what to do with, how to express them, so he hits him harder.

“You’re a fucking idiot, Kwon Soonyoung. You always read me like an open book, so how can you not get what I’m feeling right now? Why do I have to figure out how to put it into words?” He stops hitting the other, when he flinches slightly at a punch that had a little too much force, placing his hand over Soonyoung’s heart instead. “There’s nothing to fix, you idiot! We’re okay. _I’m okay_! It’s almost stupid how okay I am with it, but Soonyoung, you’re still you. Having magic doesn’t suddenly change the fact that I know _you_!” Soonyoung is staring at him now, mouth opening and closing, so Jihoon takes the opportunity to continue. “It might sound crazy coming from me, the number one magic enthusiast, but it’s true. I... _I understand_. Did you see all those people? Did you see the ugly slurs on their posters?” Jihoon hopes Soonyoung can still understand him, hiccupping and sobbing so hard by now. “I’ll never tell anyone, Soonyoung! So you better be fucking careful! I’m not going to watch them take you away from me!”

Soonyoung makes a strangled noise at that, trying to pull him close again, but Jihoon has a different idea, clumsily scrambling across the gearstick to sit on Soonyoung’s lap, squeezing himself between the steering wheel and Soonyoung, clutching onto him as soon as he’s somewhat settled. They’re both crying, holding onto each other, Soonyoung whispering “I’m sorry” over and over yet again while Jihoon tries to drown it out by repeating “Don’t leave me” at the same time. Suddenly, the noise of the world returns, almost overwhelming Jihoon’s ears, and a moment later a couple of cars pass by them. He instinctively tightens his arms around Soonyoung, he never thought knowing his boyfriend has magic would make him this terrified, but right now all he can feel is fear. Fear that Soonyoung will be discovered, fear that they’ll take him away, fear that he’ll lose the man he loves and start despising the world more than he already does.

The longer he just sits there, every inch of his body touching Soonyoung in some way, hearing the faint noise of cars and the chirping birds, the more exhausted he feels, lack of sleep becoming evident. Jihoon can feel his eyes starting to slip shut, head becoming heavy where it’s nuzzled into Soonyoung’s neck, so he loosens his grip on his boyfriend, fumbling around until he’s finally back on the passenger’s seat. The loss of contact makes his heart ache in a weird way, but when Soonyoung holds his hand, he thinks he’ll manage. “Let’s go home.” Soonyoung looks at him for a moment longer and Jihoon leans towards him, aiming for his lips, but pressing a kiss more against his chin, body being uncooperative. He’s too tired to care, especially when it makes a small laugh escape Soonyoung, using his free hand to softly cup Jihoon’s face and place a gentle kiss on his lips.

Jihoon doesn’t really notice much about the drive back, unable to keep his eyes open as soon as Soonyoung starts the car, slipping in and out of sleep, only aware that Soonyoung doesn’t let go of his hand even once. When they arrive, Jihoon tries to open his eyes, but before he can start the struggle against his own tiredness, Soonyoung offers to carry him inside and he’d be a fool to deny that offer. He still whines when his boyfriend lets go of his hand and whines again when his car door is opened, cold air hitting him. It’s quickly replaced by Soonyoung’s body heat, two arms around Jihoon who at least manages to wrap his legs around the other’s waist for support. He can faintly hear Soonyoung struggling with the keys to their apartment, but then he’s fast asleep.

When Jihoon wakes up, it’s dark outside, so he decides to sleep some more, turning around to snuggle into the ever-present warmth of Soonyoung next to him. Only the other half of the bed is empty, sheets uncomfortably cold against Jihoon’s bed-warmed skin. He’s about to snuggle back into his blanket, when a thought sends a sudden flash of panic through him. _Soonyoung is gone. Soonyoung. Is. Gone._ He scrambles out of bed, looking around the room once just to make sure his sleep-clouded mind didn’t play tricks on him, before running into the living room. Soonyoung is sitting on the couch, hunched over his laptop and typing away furiously, but Jihoon doesn’t care, too relieved his boyfriend is still here, and basically jumps on him, making him fall back on the couch with Jihoon’s entire weight on top of him.

Without question, Soonyoung manoeuvres them into a better position, Jihoon still entirely on top of him, and just lets him cling onto him, drawing patterns in a soothing motion on his back. “Good morning to you, too. Although it’s like 2am right now.” Soonyoung mumbles the words into Jihoon’s hair with a slight chuckle and he buries his face into Soonyoung’s neck, taking deep breaths, the familiar scent calming his still racing heart bit by bit. When he feels like it’s beating at a normal pace again, he turns his head a little, resting it on his boyfriend’s shoulder. “Sorry. You weren’t in bed, so I…I panicked a little.” Soonyoung’s hands still on his back, before holding onto him a little more firmly and Jihoon pecks his neck, reassuring both of them in a weird way. Soonyoung offers to make him some food, but Jihoon declines, wanting to just cuddle with him a little longer.

The room is silent besides their soft breathing and it’s so comfortable, but Jihoon can still feel a remainder of tension in Soonyoung’s body, so he decides to break through the quiet. “Can you tell me more about your magic?” Soonyoung nods, making Jihoon get dressed and taking him to their spot, only this time there is no waterfall, just an ordinary clearing in the forest. He watches his boyfriend close his eyes and lift one hand and suddenly it’s like the first time Jihoon came here, the waterfall, the lake, even the fireflies and candles, they’re all back. The fact he couldn’t find the spot on his own and Soonyoung’s reaction back then suddenly makes even more sense. He quickly joins Soonyoung where he’s standing, taking the hand that’s still in the air into both of his and pressing a kiss against the palm. Soonyoung opens his eyes and looks at him, there’s still a flicker of fear in his eyes, but it’s accompanied by a small smile and Jihoon would call that progress.

They sit down on the same picnic blanket from all those years ago and he waits patiently for Soonyoung to start, ready for the sensation of the world’s noise slipping away and only their voices remaining, but it doesn’t come. Instead, Soonyoung starts talking with the same hushed voice his mother used to speak with when she told him about magic for the first time. He tells Jihoon about his parents, the full story, how neither of them had magic, but how they figured out that their son had magic almost immediately, how they moved around a lot to be safe, how they dived deep into the magic-enthusiast scene to find somebody who could teach him, to find somebody like him, how they kept his magic hidden from the world until one day an incident occurred while a friend was over and Soonyoung’s father took the blame, being taken away immediately and killed. His mother and him went into hiding, until eventually she was found while Soonyoung was away and he returned to find reporters and police cars in front of his home, making him run until his feet couldn’t carry him anymore.

He tells Jihoon about finding other people with magic, people who were preparing for a fight, he stayed with them for a while, learning more about his magic, how to use it and how to push the limits, until he realised they weren’t fighting for rights but for domination and then he ran again.He lived in hiding for a year, until he found a network of people like him who just did their best to blend in, seemingly living without fear, most of them even happy, so he stayed with one of them, an older lady, in the town where he met Jihoon, where he’s lived ever since, falling in love and finding a home. Soonyoung avoids eye contact for most of his story, but he seems to relax bit by bit, word by word. Finally, he tells Jihoon about how sometimes his magic scares him because he has yet to meet the limitations, how he has seen the destruction he is capable of, but also the beauty he can create and how some days he isn’t sure if there’s a difference between the two, but how being with Jihoon makes him work harder to only use his magic for good, even if it’s something as self-indulgent as creating this spot for them.

“I hope you’ll never have to witness the dark side of magic. It makes my skin crawl knowing all the ways I could hurt you without even lifting a finger.” Jihoon holds Soonyoung’s hand tighter, making him look at him. “But you won’t, Soonyoung. I know you would never hurt me. Or anyone else for that matter.” A small smile spreads across Soonyoung’s face and he pulls Jihoon into his lap, hands cupping his face gently. “I told you my magic reacts to you. It’s like it fell in love with you the same way I did.” Jihoon thought he had finally managed to get used to Soonyoung’s declarations of love, heart still skipping and somersaulting, in a pleasant sort of way, but now he’s back to the start, heart going into overdrive and cheeks heating up, so he just leans forward and kisses Soonyoung.

There’s still a lot Jihoon wants to ask Soonyoung, but somehow he feels no rush because he knows he’ll get all the answers to his questions at some point, they have their whole lives ahead of them, so first they need to discuss how to keep both of them safe and sound to ensure it’ll be a long life together. When they’re on their way back home, once again seeing the sun rise, he thinks about the little black box hidden away inside a drawer in their bedroom and decides that today the time has finally come.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed this mess ahhh thank you for reading <3 and i'm always happy about any feedback :D  
> (i apologise for any mistakes since this wasn't proof-read)


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